How You Doin’? 😉
In Mark Van S’ article Incarnational Practices he gives 5 rules for social interaction. They are great rules. They talk about when it is appropriate to casually chit chat with someone that you have “given the nod” to once in a while in a “third place.”
I really wish that everyone were taught these rules. In general Christians are nice people. And in a few cases Christians are VERY nice people. A little bit too nie on occasion. Sometimes Christians get a bad rap for being too nice, so no one likes them. (It’s kind of funny to me that Christians can be hated for hating and for loving.) I have encountered people who at my first meeting of them want to know every detail of my life, every emotion I have felt in the past 24 hours and why I have made the choices in my life that have led me to that exact moment of meeting, because they are nice people who seem to care about me… even though I met them once.
My initial reaction to that (and I am sure many others feel this as well) is to just say that I have to go, so that I don’t have to talk to them, and then I hope I don’t have to see them again. If we want people to not runaway from us, then I think we really should loosely follow these rules. Loosely, because I do think that there will always be exceptions to the rules.
They are simple steps of eye contact, nodding/waving, “hello,” “How is your book?,” “Hi, I’m Emily,” and then finally a conversation or two that will hopefully move into a wonderful friendship that is meaningful, genuine and loving. –Emily M.
Haha nice Emily. I mean if you really wanted to make friends with someone you wouldn’t approach them the way many of us do when we get into evangelism mode…right? I mean those rules for social interaction are valid because they are true! The first thing I think about is the movie I Love You Man with all the rules and nuances that go into making friends. I think it’s good to read things like that article to keep us real.
That’s what I’m sayin’!
I also believe that sometimes we Christians can over do the nice. It is awesome to go all out and “attack” people with genuine questions, but sometimes that freaks people out! Discernment is needed as to how to best reach people.