By Caitlin
If you have ever been to a small Christian college, or know someone who has, then y
ou have probably heard the term “ring before spring.” And it is unusual to find an unmarried seni or pastor at any church. I’ve found that the Christian Church in America definitely emphasizes the importance and sacredness of marriage. Considering that we live in a culture obsessed with sex, this emphasis is probably a good thing. After all, Paul does say in 1 Corinthians 7:9 that “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
However, I do wonder if the pressure to find a husband/wife can distract from living out God’s mission. I know many people who, when considering the potential of another for dating or marriage, really only consider whether or not they claim to be a Christian, and if they have chemistry. Both of those are important, but I don’t think it should stop there. Many of my friends seem to look for that “special someone” first, and consider how they can live out God’s mission afterward.
We had a group of really wonderful people come into class to talk about living missionally, and two of them were a young married couple who run an organization called Global Neighborhood, which helps refugees from other countries adjust to life in the United States. Both of them had given up everything to follow Christ’s call for their lives, and he blessed them with one another. But I started to think, what if one of them hadn’t listened to this call? Would that have stopped them both from living out Christ’s mission, or just changed the way they do that?
Like almost any other twenty-year-old woman, of course I want to get married at some point. But people look at me strangely when I say, “I’d be okay if I stay single my whole life. ” Especially in the last couple of years, I’ve felt God calling me to the dark places, to work with broken people. I do not really want the American Dream. However, I could see myself being easily swayed and pulled away from following this call if I started considering a significant other’s desires or needs foremost. I think that God plans for some people to serve him as singles, and some as married couples. Why is this such a unheard-of concept to so many Christian college students today?
Caitlin,
Please do not ever lose your steadfast desire to serve God! It is very clear that you are willing to sacrifice your personal desires to bring about His Kingdom! It is very refreshing to read a post from a peer about this subject. Great post! I would encourage you to spread this truth, as you are one of the rare few that understand even the possibility of this calling and its implications on our lives.
Caitlin, great post. I think part of the reason we are so caught up in this traditional approach is simply because that is what many of us have observed in others around us. Unfortunately many do not even consider that God could be calling them to something other than marriage..and if so being married would be disobedience to God and could like you were questioning in your blog make them incapable of doing what it is God is calling them to do.