Relationship. This is the word I keep coming back to the
more I learn about the true calling of the Church and the people of God.
Everything centers on the idea that to be a “city on a hill” we have to have
relationships with the people around us that will allow them to see what the
family of God looks like and what being a dedicated disciple of Christ really
means. And, yes, I love the idea of “doing life” with fellow Christians and
living in a way that shows what the gospel is about.
BUT, I am terrified
at the idea of relational. I’m not kidding; I am not good at first impressions, holding coherent conversations, making
small talk, meeting new people, etc. Don’t get me wrong, God has given me a
heart for people and I love being around those whom I already know, but for
some reason God also made me a person that would rather stay in a corner than
engage others. So when I think about starting conversations with strangers and
putting myself out there with other Christians, it scares me.
At times it
is easy for me to tell myself that God must have a more “behind-the-scenes”
plan for my place in the Church, since He made me an introvert. However, I have
realized that in some way or another Jesus calls everyone to radically change
who they are and how they act when they join the family of God. He asks us to
lay down idols and sins and our old selves in order to abide in Him and
rescript our stories to include the fullness of life that He wants to give us. Jesus
says to us in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me.” What if, for me, denying myself means
denying the part of me that would rather not talk to anyone? It might be that
being missional will kill that part of me, but I am called to die to myself
anyway; “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ
lives in me.” Reaching out to strangers and engaging the world might scare me, but
if stepping outside of my shell and into Christ’s power allows me to be a part
of the work of the Kingdom of God, then it will be
entirely worth the pain of death.
Kate
oh good, I was hoping I was not the only who said “yes! be relational!” and then hid in my tiny corner behind my computer for several hours (several days. who am I kidding?). being relational scares the crap out of me.
Yay Kate! God uses each of us for His work, even us introverts. I can definitely relate. Great post! 🙂
Nicely said Kate and makes the challenge of dying to myself very real!
I really like that idea of becoming a “regular.” It is definitely a less intimidating way of looking at what is sometimes an overwhelming problem for me. Thanks!
This is a wonderful post, Kate! My sister is an introvert, and I can be at times too, but she runs into the same question (except she doesnt always examine it so challengingly like you are :)) The blessed thing is that God gives us the Holy Spirit to help us in areas that aren’t our strongest. So you dont have to force yourself to talk to every stranger you see, but just be lead by Him. May God be with you as you explore this new challenge!
Wow, Kate, this is amazing! Thank you for being so real. I love the way you are ready to do whatever God wants you to do even if it is opposite of how you were made, uncomfortable, and scary. This is a great reminder that dying to yourself is not a one time thing, we do it every day, rejecting the plans we have for ourselves that do not align with God’s so that we can be in complete submission to Him.
I love your post Kate.
I think you’ve come across a good tension here. On the one hand the reality of missional means a scary engagement of strangers, but I think there’s something helpful when more introverted or shy types take on the call of mission that’s sometimes missed when it’s lead by extroverts.
My community in Portland is big on encouraging people to become “regulars.” Finding a coffee shop, a bar, a neighborhood hang out or a club that we enjoy being a part of and make our missional alignment part of being in the life of that event. It leads to richer conversations because you’re a part of something bigger, and often it makes conversation starting easier because it means not everyone is a complete stranger all the time.
Any way, I think you’re examining a good question!